Proverbs 31: 31 Give to her of the fruit of her hands, and let her own works praise her in the gates.
Proverbs 31: 31. Last verse of the last chapter of the book of Wisdom. Class is about to be dismissed and the Teacher explains how you will be graded.
You will get credit for your work.
The question at the close of this series is: When a wife receives credit for what she has given as a wife will the grade place her on honor roll or in remediation?
First, a review.
God created male human beings to work and to think and to be fruitful. For most men that destined productivity is divinely ordained to occur in the context of marriage---- God’s original social institution. Marriage is the only social institution that was created under perfect conditions. God put together the first marriage in Eden. Every other human institution, including organized religion, was organized after the Fall in the context of a fallen, already corrupted world.
Marriage is something special.
And so, God proclaims that it is not good for man to be alone. God gave His already gifted, talented, doubly employed, PERFECT man----- a wife.
Therefore, a wife is something special.
But admittedly, that’s not for every man. Marriage is special, and therefore marriage in this sinful world is especially difficult.
At one point as Jesus was teaching about marriage and laying out the difficulty and depths of the marriage commitment, Jesus’ disciples said to Him, “If such is the case of the man with his wife, it is better not to marry.” (Matthew 19: 10)
Jesus acknowledged that not every man can handle it.He said to them, “All cannot accept this saying, but only those to whom it has been given”. (Matthew 19: 11)
But, as Jesus explained, if a man is meant to be a father then he is also meant to be a husband. Cause if he doesn’t want the deal with a wife, then he should be celibate.
“For there are eunuchs who were born thus from their mother’s womb, and there are eunuchs who were made eunuchs by men, and there are eunuchs who have made themselves eunuchs for the kingdom of heaven’s sake. He who is able to accept it, let him accept it.” (Matthew 19: 12)
O.K., so now you’re wondering, “Anderson, what’s your point?”
Right, right. My points?
Here are my points:
First, not every man is husband material and not ever woman is wife material, and nothing is wrong with a man or woman who doesn’t want to get married.
But if you don’t consider yourself to be marriage material then don’t present yourself as sexual partner material either.
To my brothers: If you are a present or future husband, then your potential for success/ fruitfulness is inextricably tied to the woman you do or will call “wife.” Choose well. Your life may not depend on your choice of mate; but the quality of your life does.
To the sisters: If you and he are truly meant to be together as husband and wife, then you must understand your crucial role in his success. If God has indeed joined you together, then God has proclaimed that he will never realize his full potential------- without YOUR help. No matter how good, godly, talented, anointed, hardworking, and driven he is------ if you don’t wife him right, he will never be as good as he could be.
But not every woman can receive this saying. It is a difficult thing to be a good wife, especially since your man isn’t perfect.
As Paul wrote, “If a virgin marries, she has not sinned. Nevertheless such will have trouble in the flesh, but I would spare you. (1 Corinthians 7: 28)
As a wife, you have to walk the erratic and razor-thin line between helping your man and trying to run his life. You’re supposed to help him fulfill his calling without dictating to him what his calling is.
I understand why a woman wouldn’t want to deal with that kind of drama, but that’s the job.
Your husband cannot do it without you.
He can’t succeed without you, but if he also can’t succeed WITH you, then what are you there for?
Read this:
I’m not sure how much of this story is true, but the underying principles are spot-on, Biblically accurate.
Ladies, you are the queens who make us kings. Or not.
You will be graded on your work. Show your work.
Make the way you wife----- speak praises in your name.
And let her own works praise her in the gates.
---Anderson T. Graves II is a writer, community organizer and consultant for education, ministry, and rural leadership development.
Rev. Anderson T. Graves II is pastor of Hall Memorial CME Church in Montgomery, Alabama, executive director of the Substance Abuse Youth Networking Organization (SAYNO) and director of rural leadership development for the National Institute for Human Development (NIHD).
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