A WORD TO THE WISE: Proverbs 27: 10 "Old Friends & New"

Proverbs 27: 10     Do not forsake your own friend or your father’s friend, nor go to your brother’s house in the day of your calamity. Better is a neighbor nearby than a brother far away.

Proverbs 27: 10.  “Family first” is a good principle, but “family only” is not. 

Great family dynasties from the pharaohs to the Kennedys have had generational allies outside the biological family.    These great houses apply the wisdom of Proverbs 27:10.   Children meet their parents’ friends, and learn to values and nurture their parents’ friendships.  When the children come of age and need someone to help in ways the biological relatives cannot,  it is those old friends of the family who watch out for the young ones because, “I knew your father.  He was my friend.” 

In 1 Kings 4: 1-6, when the newly crowned King Solomon appointed the chief officers of his kingdom, he exercised his wisdom by including many men from his father David’s circle or their sons.

In the world of fraternities and ivy league schools it’s called being “a legacy.”  It’s also called nepotism.

In 1 Kings 4, beginning at verse 7 Solomon appointed governors whose names and whose fathers’ names are largely unfamiliar. These men were unconnected but competent.  That’s merit-ocracy.

Solomon understood the wisdom of having new friends while maintaining the old family network.   The wise, prosperous, blessed & highly favored king also understood that you can't allow the network to overwhelm you, your will, or God's wisdom.  Allies and advisors offer help and advice.  The decision (and its consequences) remain yours alone.

Now, most of us won’t get to see this delicate dance practiced first-hand by actual kings or Kennedys; but you know which easily accessible cultural demographic are masters of the friend network? 

Rednecks.

Turn up your nose if you want.  But my loud, rebel-flag-license-plate having, country-music-blasting, way-too-many-guns-owning brothers and sisters can pick up a phone and get an entire driveway cleared, leveled, and paved in an afternoon for little more than the price beer and the mutual love of a wide network of personal and family friends.

Learn what they know.

If you have been successful in your work (whatever that work may be), it has been with the help and support of many people, most of whom probably aren’t biologically close relatives.  Introduce your children to those connections. 

Teach them to value their “legacy” but not to rely on it to the exclusion of merit.  Daddy and Mama won’t always be there.  Brothers and sisters can’t be everywhere.  You and your children need friends.

Friends are worth something.  When it’s 2 A.M. on a dark road and your family doesn’t own a tow truck, but your uncle’s buddy does--- then friends are worth a whole lot.

Don’t just leave an insurance payment to your children.  Leave them with a valuable network of generational friends to nurture and to expand. 

----- Anderson T. Graves II

Rev. Anderson T. Graves II is the pastor of Hall Memorial CME Church

Call/ fax: 334-288-0577
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Hall Memorial CME Church
541 Seibles Rd.,
Montgomery, AL 36116