A WORD TO THE WISE: Proverbs 27: 5

Proverbs 27: 5     Open rebuke is better than love carefully concealed.

Proverbs 27: 5.  There is an implicit progression: 

Concealed love is not good. 
Open rebuke is better. 
Open love is best.

A marriage, for example, isn’t most at risk when the husband and the wife yell at one another from time to time, but when they are silent to one another.  When they never say anything to each other---- that is when the relationship is in critical danger. 

Worse than mutual fussing is the choice of both or either spouse to  just not say anything anymore, to not ever worry about it anymore, to not even care.   It’s in this way that couples find themselves before a judge saying that they’ve “grown apart” or “I just don’t love him anymore.”

The solution isn’t for silent couples to start yelling; but for every couple to start talking, to start forgiving, to start sacrificing themselves for one another and openly declaring and displaying their love. 

I have complained about the meanness of certain social programs that tell folks on welfare to quit being lazy and get a job.  But, if those programs offer a job and I offer -------- nothing, then honestly the mean get-a-job-any-job people are demonstrating more love than I am.    At least they care enough to actually engage with those in need.

The best answer though, isn’t to spread blanket blame on all the poor for their poverty, but for those of us who’ve been indifferent to get involved, to complain less about how others help and to start helping ourselves.

1 John 3: 17     But whoever has this world’s goods, and sees his brother in need, and shuts up his heart from him, how does the love of God abide in him?

We need to strive toward the highest level of the progression, that is OPEN LOVE.    If we don’t then the principle of Proverbs 27: 5 is applied but perverted. 

Perversion of Proverbs 27: 5 is why so many good women end up with doggish men instead of the nice guys who’ve been relegated to the friend zone.     The nice guys conceal their romantic love behind the veil of platonic friendship.  The dog openly rebukes the sister, telling her that she’s not good enough, not pretty enough, not sexy enough.  The sister responds to the open rebuke, because they reason, “Since he notices all these little things, he must really care about me.”  

These women recognize that open rebuke is better than concealed love, but they fail to see that what they should seek (and demand as a minimum) isn’t open rebuke.   It’s OPEN LOVE.

In the church, we sometimes withhold forgiveness under the disguise of withholding judgment.  We see people doing wrong, doing us wrong, and we fear to directly go to them and rebuke them for their sin against us.  Instead we just don’t say anything.  We choose not to worry about it anymore.  We say, “I don’t even care.”  

That’s not love.  That’s actually silent hate.

Leviticus 19: 17     ‘You shall not hate your brother in your heart. You shall surely rebuke your neighbor, and not bear sin because of him.

When you refuse to deal with your brother’s or sister’s sin against you, it’s an act of hate, not an act of love.  Because you never deal with them, you never forgive them.  So, silent bitterness builds up inside and you end up hating them in your heart.

1 John 4: 20     If someone says, “I love God,” and hates his brother, he is a liar; for he who does not love his brother whom he has seen, how can he love God whom he has not seen? 21     And this commandment we have from Him: that he who loves God must love his brother also.

Is the solution to “go off” in the name of Jesus?  No.  Seek the highest progression---- OPEN LOVE.

Talk to the one who hurt you.  (You’ll probably find that you need to change at least as much as they do.)  Forgive them, whether they apologize or not.  Reconcile with them.  Don’t bear sinful hate in your heart because of what they did.  Instead, love them.  Love them openly.

----- Anderson T. Graves II

Rev. Anderson T. Graves II is the pastor of Hall Memorial CME Church

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