A WORD TO THE WISE: Proverbs 29: 11, "Venting"

Proverbs 29: 11     A fool vents all his feelings, but a wise man holds them back.

Proverbs 29: 11.  Sometimes you just need to vent.

Sometimes you don’t need advice or a solution.  Sometimes there’s no solution to advise.  You’re just hurting and you need to vent some of the pain and pressure before you implode.

That’s O.K. 

When Jesus faced the grave of His friend Lazarus, He wept and groaned (John 11).  Eventually, Jesus prayed and changed the situation, but initially Jesus just needed to vent.

It’s O.K. to vent sometimes.

Sometimes, but not all the time.  And not to everybody.

Job vented his anguish to 4 friends and they spent the next 30 something chapters making him feel worse.

Eleven disciples went with Jesus to the Garden of Gethsemane, but when the time came for Jesus to pour out His heart about His passion, Jesus only took 3 disciples with Him, and He kept those 3 a stone’s throw away while He vented to His father (Matt. 26:36-39; Mark 14:32-36; Luke 22: 41).

Mary carefully observed young Jesus, how people responded to Him and how He answered people; but Mary didn’t tell everybody everything she saw or was told.  A lot of things she kept to herself and pondered them in her heart.   (Luke 2:19; Luke 2: 51)

Practice thinking before you vent.  Consider whom you’re about to tell and what you’re about to tell them.  Are they likely to help or to make matters worse?  Can you trust everybody in the room with your pain or do you need to pull a few people aside and vent alone?  

Think before you vent the most intimate details of the ongoing argument between you and your husband/ wife/ boss/ parent/ child/ whomever.  Will telling the entire planet by posting your business online help or harm the ultimate goal of solving the problem and healing the relationship?

Emotion can compel you to react immediately, but remember that the root of the word emotion is motion, which refers to movement.  In other words, feeling come and feeling go.   Emotion is temporary, but venting emotion has permanent consequences.

Once you’ve spoken, you can apologize; you can explain.  But, you cannot un-speak what you’ve said.  And your audience cannot un-hear what you’ve told them.

Once that rant or that pic is posted, one share, one copy/paste later and it’s out there---- forever, for the entire planet to relive and repost at will.

It’s O.K., to vent sometimes; but sometimes, probably most of the time, you need to hold back and be thoughtful about how you share your emotions.

Now, don’t share false emotions.  Don’t say you’re happy when you’re really broken-hearted.  Don’t say that you don’t care if they leave when you really want them to stay.  Speak truth or be silent.

Wisdom  means knowing when to do which.

---Anderson T. Graves II   is a pastor, writer, community organizer and consultant for education, ministry, and rural leadership development.

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To hear sermons, read devotions, and learn more about the ministry at Hall Memorial CME Church, visit www.hallmemorialcme@blogspotcom.