A WORD TO THE WISE. Proverbs 29: 17

Proverbs 29: 17     Correct your son, and he will give you rest.  Yes, he will give delight to your soul.

Proverbs 29: 17.  I worry about my children.  I worry about their safety, their academic performance, their career prospect, their marriage prospects, etc., etc.  But mostly, I worry about them growing up to be good people.   I worry that they won’t be as smart, as wise, as strong, as generous, as careful, as confident, as humble, or as spiritually discerning as they need to be to thrive in the world they’ll face.   I worry about this----- a lot.  It keeps me awake some nights.

But, when I teach them something the worry goes away.  When I share a lesson about courage with my son, I have a moment of peace when I think, “Well, I know that he knows that.”

When I explain to my daughter how to think through her goals and walk toward fulfilling them, I sigh a little with relief and I think, “O.K., that’ll help her one day.”

These lessons aren’t always Hallmark moments. 

Sometimes there’s yelling.  (I’m yelling, not my kids.  Hmmph.)  Sometimes there are tears. (That’d be the kids crying.  I don’t cry in front of them except during worship.) Sometimes the teachable moment is “intense.”  But, my purpose is always to teach them, to correct them, to prepare them.

My wife worries that I’m too hard on them--- especially on our son.  (She’s a mama.  She’s supposed to worry about that .)  I’ve even caught some sideways looks out in public when I’ve had to “correct” him.

But what mothers and bystanders don’t see is the way my son looks at me when I pray with him at night.  Those looks bring delight to my soul.

Others don’t see the moments when my son or my daughter come to me and recount an incident in which he/she applied the lessons embedded in my fussing.  They’ll smile.  They sometimes say, “Thank you.”  The younger one will even hug me.  

I sleep in peace on those nights.

As an adolescent I hated how hard my father was, but as a man I understand better his spirit and his concerns.  I know that if he hadn’t been so strong then I would have grown up weaker. 

I remember my father’s eyes when I did things that made him worry that I wasn’t gonna make it (possibly because he might kill me before I finished high school).   When I see my father’s eyes now, I see pride-----and relief.   I’ve heard him sigh when I’ve recounted an incident in which I applied the lessons embedded in his fussing.  It gave delight to his soul.

When your children are wrong, put them in check and teach them better.  Do more than take up for them so that their lives are easier in the present.  Correct them so that they are better people in the future.

It’ll save you from a lot of sleepless nights in the future.  Parent well and when they grow up to be good people, they will give delight to your soul.

---Anderson T. Graves II

Rev. Anderson T. Graves II is the pastor of Hall Memorial CME Church

Call/ fax: 334-288-0577
Email us at hallmemorialcme1@aol.com
Friend Pastor Graves at www.facebook.com/rev.a.t.graves

If you want to be a blessing to this ministry, contributions may be made by check or money order.

Mail all contributions to :

Hall Memorial CME Church
541 Seibles Road
Montgomery, AL 36116